Discipline and Motivation to take Action.
I have been dwelling on these words a lot the last few months. They are very powerful, but also very dangerous. “Hot” words I like to call them. I find as a whole people LOVE to use the words Discipline, but really have none. Action, but rarely take any outside of their comfort zone and over compensate being “busy” as action. Motivation, yet again being “busy” is not motivation. Often what I see is its avoidance from what truly needs to be done. Sorry to inform you, being BUSY is not the same thing as taking action.
Lets think about ourselves for a minute now. Where do we lack TRUE discipline, motivation and action? Usually its not where we think it lies. Confidence is the key here. Where are we the least confident in ourselves and I guarantee you that is where you lack the most. This pain point is what makes you stress eat, or need to drink every evening, or give you reasons to not show up at the gym. Here is the annoying thing about all of this, Without SELF-Discipline you will never find confidence. Without SELF-motivation, you will never see results. Without SELF-Action you will NEVER ever achieve your goals. It all starts with daily discipline. Self discipline breeds confidence, which breeds motivation, which breads action, which breeds better discipline, which breeds more confidence, which breeds more motivation, which breeds TRUE action. ITS ON YOU to create the positive cycle. Do you realize that every day you are given a chance to break this cycle and break this chain of chaos? EVERY DAY!
News flash. Its not your parents fault you cant do or be what you dream about. Its not your spouses fault you never achieved your true dreams and passions, and it sure as hell is not your kids fault you never pursued them. Those comfortable lies are such BULLSHIT. IT IS YOUR FAULT! You allowed yourself to get where you are, and its on you to get yourself out of it. Stop the blame game, stop the negative reasons why you cant and start recognizing all the awesome reasons why you can. If you had a shitty childhood, thank your parents for being who they were because that adversity made you the awesome motherfucker you are today! “But Steve if I didn’t get married when I did or had kids I’d be doing (fill in the blank)”. Stop it, seriously. Take ownership of your choice, recognize the amount of knowledge and strength you gained from having that life style and apply it to your goals and passions. What happened to your fight!? What happened to your dreams?! I don’t accept this and neither should you! You are amazing! I see it in you, the other coaches see it in you. WHY DON’T YOU!.
Discipline, motivation, and action are not hard to achieve. Its just like working out. Its just quiet simple actions done daily. Create a morning or evening routine. You need to take time to yourself, for yourself, everyday to become the best spouse, parent, and human you can be. If you wake up and go to bed and the first thing you think about is how you suck, or how someone ruined your day/life, or everything you didn’t achieve the day before. Whoa man, you are your own worst enemy. But here is the best part. Its all a choice. It is all a-disciplined-daily-choice. Its not super easy. It wont happen in a day or in a week. However one day you will do something special and THAT is the light-bulb moment. WOW! I am not what I think I am! I don’t create my identity in my past any more. I actually love me and that silly fucking love handle on my side. I rule!
It all comes down to this. You are stronger than you think. You are better than you realize. You deserve to be happy and feel good everyday. Repeat that last sentence again. “I DESERVE to be happy and feel good everyday” repeat that until you believe it. I believe it, I need you to believe it.
Here is a great video I listened to this morning. Give it a listen when you have a free 10 min. VIDEO
If you need help building a daily self routine or want to talk about some goal setting my door is always open. Just go HERE so we can book a 30min goal setting session to figure things out.
So… here we go.. Many of you may be surprised to know that this post was extremely hard for me to put up. I am passionately committed to each and everyone of you, but to make myself as vulnerable as I require from my athletes, that is very hard for me. Also I can’t take a good “selfie” for my life!!
To look at my self in the mirror, in silence and just stare. That is a very scary place. To really look at yourself naked in silence plays with your mind. That vulnerability is uncomfortable. Our thoughts automatically turn directly to criticism. Our minds start to listen to that evil spirit in our souls that just wants to lie to you and tear you apart one negative thought at a time.
As a coach and owner I battle with the guilt and the worst word in the English language, “should”.. As an owner and a coach “I SHOULD have abs”, “I should be fit as f#ck”, “I should not struggle with my weight” “I should not have bad self control”, “I should not have a negative self image”, “I should want to work out every day twice a day” and the reality is I am opposite of all of those statements.. I struggle daily with self control, I am hyper critical of my body and have a negative self image. I barely have an Ab. There are days, even weeks I don’t even want to look at a barbell. I go to CrossFit functions and want pizza instead of whatever bullshit they are all pretending to love to eat, and I am by far not even near the top tier of performers in our gym. I am none of what I am telling my self “I should be”. Looking into the mirror that little fucker inside me starts creeping in and saying, you failed everyone. You aren’t good enough stand in front of that class. Look at you!. That is a scary place that I am sure we can all relate to.
What I am getting at is this. We are all the same. No one has it all together, NONE OF US!. We are all broken, we are all damaged, we are all selfish, we all want to blame everyone else. You need to stop listening to that voice and start looking at yourself for who you really are. You are a good person, a person who makes an effort every day to be the best version of themselves. It does not matter how fit you are, how cut you are, how well you perform on that gym floor. If you are not in love with your self in the truest meaning of the word, all the abs and muscles in the world wont make you happy. It needs to start on the inside of you. When you can truly learn to love yourself for who YOU are not who you think you should be or who society wants you to be, THAT is when changes come about. That is when truth starts taking over the lies. When you give your self that tough love talk and realize that the actions for change start with you and only you. That day, THAT FUCKING DAY! is when you start to truly live.
My change started last January. I am the type that needs to hit rock bottom to realize its time to climb out. I mean I do crossfit, I love a challenge !. In January I realized I let my self go so far off my path. My body-fat level was higher than ever. My muscle mass % was even worse. I had no energy, no motivation and just wanted to blame everyone and everything around me. I would yell at Tina to stop buying chips and crackers, I wouldn’t want to go out because going out makes me eat and drink.. I had no accountability to myself.
One day I woke up and just had enough. I looked at my self in the mirror and actually started to tear up. My confidence as a man was lost. My soul and heart were cold. My body was weak, and it was MY FAULT!. That day I realized as much as I need everyone’s help, I can not rely on anyone to make the decisions for me. I started forcing myself out of bed. I started to drive 35 min up to the gym to work out then back home, then back up for work. I made my self uncomfortable because that was the only way to take ownership of my situation and find change. I started really diving into how to change my diet. I worked with Nanette on my macro’s. I spoke with Sandra and KFJ and Tina and whoever else I could about how they do what they do. I found my path. Every day I just made small decisions, nothing I did was drastic and profound. I just took one step at a time. Each workout slowly got easier. The eating started to fulfill my hunger. Slowly I found my self again.
Fast forward to today. I feel amazing, I am 196 lbs, down from 226 in January. My body is in less pain, I feel strong again. I don’t close my eyes when I walk past a mirror any longer. Workouts are fun again, and I am able to perform better than ever have!. The best part of this journey was how I found my smile again. I found my heart, I have my confidence back, I am happy. I get butterflies when I wake up because I cant wait to go coach and help people. I passionately love each and everyone of you, and LOVE watching you all grow as people in front of me. I love how we have created a culture where people are not afraid to be their true selves. I would not be able to feel any of this if I did not start with my self. None of my changes would have happened, if I did not start with me.
If you are not your best self daily, you are doing yourself a dis-service. You are on this earth for a short time. Do not settle for status quo ever! Your situation in life is your own, and if you want change you and only you can take action. You have to make those changes to be your true happy.
I love each and everyone one of you dearly. I appreciate you taking time to read my story, and if you need anything, I mean anything. You know where to turn.. Go HERE if you are interested in doing some GOAL SETTING sessions with me.
Have a great day””